i take comfort into singing songs aloud with my little iPod by the wayside....

July 14th, 2009:

taking trains across Tokyo, the Yamanote Loop into stagnant heartache, i sit there waiting for my stop wishing my life was a Murikami novel instead.

i float through Shibuya and Harajuku on a hot afternoon nameless and lacking identity. drifting through a crowd of fashionistas and tastemakers i wonder how much more time i have to kill in Ibaraki prefecture before i can live again.

i stand bravely in the face of emotional and financial debt to more than one individual or institution.

but knowing that it will never end.
the gnawing sensation that i just don't know...
i just don`t know what to do about it.

but jane says.

that she has never been in love.
and listening to that song about it.

thinking about
tomorrow.
i am still thinking about
tomorrow.

i'm going away.

i will get on that silver bird and fly away to
where i can get my head straight
and wonder why i wander
around so aimlessly

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